Saturday, December 8, 2007

2500 lbs of Hustle

Alright I know it's been awhile. It's finals time and I actually hope to do well, whether this will happen or not, is up in the air. Oh well.

Recent announcements have made my life brighter, however. I know, I know let's go down the list of what it is not:
- I have found a boyfriend
- I have gotten a big time job
-I have done something other than work part-time selling relishes and fruit, researching, writing, hating my current hairstyle and reading Perez.

I did however, see the ad for the new American Galdiators. I am sure you all know about this wonderful show that aired in the late 80's into the 90's. As a child confused about my own gender (obviously) and with an inappropriate definiton of "entertainment". I watched athlete after average joe get beaten by the pinnacle of physical fitness in such games as "Get the Ball in the tumbler thing" and "Try not and get hit by a tennis ball that is shot out of this very small cannon". I can't wait to see how the show improves, I am not sure it can.

One of my favorite Gladiators was a guy named "Malibu". While other gladiators were strong and brutish, apparently Malibu's only talent was his superhuman California accent. He was wounded in one episode and was knocked off a column of some sort. He soon got back to the Champion Stadium enough to fight once more. Genius.
While watching these promos for the new show, somthing stirred within me and I was inspired yet again by these people with muscles and nothing better to do. I am going to forget my career as a teacher and become an American Gladiator.

6 comments:

Zachary Dietl said...

Oh man, it is so going to be so over-produced, all laser lights and dramatic pauses. Ever since "who wants to be a millionaire," it's ritz and razzle! Can't you let those hairless apes flex in peace?

acidwashpants said...

I want to know what the audition process is. Like if the ask you to smack talk about less muscular people and such.

Zachary Dietl said...

Yeah, and if they make you get naked so they can check you for body fat. And look at your goods.

DJ Believe it or Not said...

i think i'll start taking steroids and try out... i'll be the mini competitor with all the moves. will you be my coach?

acidwashpants said...

yes yes yes

IS said...

I have no idea what you're talking about. Maybe it's because I didn't live in this country in the early 90s.