Hello Stranger

I know. I know. You probably forgot about me, and that's fair. I haven't called and it was unruly (sp?) of me. But I have been busy panicking.

It's the summer and while old Mallory would have been prepping for summer camp season (a moment of silence for my first summer not working with sweaty, smelly, kids for the first time in 5 years), the new graduate school Mallory is taking classes, and subbing (a moment of silence for my new job of working with sweaty, smelly, students). Only one of my classes is face-to-face and it meets for a dogged 3.5 hours, twice a week. I know. The class is both an undergraduate and graduate class, the grad students have to stay for an extra half hour and make a 10 minute presentation. I have the opportunity to take a look at the practices of undergraduate students which has been great. I would like to share some with you.

-The in-class texter: Puhlease. I know you are rotating between texting your boyfriend and playing the stirring game of Tetris on your super-tricked out cellphone. I am assuming that you changed your seat because you wanted to get the optimal angle for text-hiding, yet appear as though you are paying attention, congrats, it's probably done wonders. Also, vibrations aren't silent. Everytime your bf/gf/df? feels like they want you to have the latest breakdown of the relationship, it sounds like a wind-up toy is being released in your pants. Don't act surprised, you knew it was going happen.

-The oral responder: College is what you make of it, I give you that; but is it neccesary to give a verbal response to every rhetorical question posed? So the teachers asks the class if we would like to watch a clip of an opera. You take this as your cue to cry out, "Yes, Yes I would." Great. I am glad, now let's stop and ask THE REST OF THE CLASS. Also, you don't need to "uhuh" and "MMMMM" everytime you think something said is cool. You can just nod your head. It's the same goddamn thing.

-The Cliche-Claimer: This is my favorite. And there are quite a bit of these in my class. They will add to the discourse of class with statements that are general cliches that have been uttered by everyone. In studying the Odyssey one of these said "It's like my theory of travel: It's not the destination, it's how you get there." You are right, I think that this was first stated in AN AMERICAN EXPRESS COMMERICAL. Or hows about "It reminds me of the social theory that women who sleep with many people are sluts, but men are not." Thanks a lot, high school. Seriously.


So that's what it's like so far. I am sure I will have further stories, some about subbing too, a never-ending job of fun.