Friday, October 26, 2007

My addiction

I don't have many vices. I don't smoke. I don't drink (everyday). I don't hit the sticky icky and I am relatively man trouble free. There is only one thing, aside from the occasional cheesecake that gets me. I consider myself generally an intelligent woman, with a career on the rise, kind of like a Capital Area "That Girl", except that I am not her at all. Whatever.

So the one thing that I do give into is celebrity gossip. I know. It's bad.
It started at a young age. I remember reading People Magazine. My mom was my enabler allowing me to leaf through numerous issues in her waiting room. It is here that my addiciton became increasingly worse.

In college I was given Internet Access unbridled and I went crazy. At first I was into the Entertainment News on Cnn and found People.com. Soon that was not enough. About a year and a half ago I was googling for the latest pictures of some celebrity doing something that was very earth changing which is obviously why I was looking for it in the first place. Anyway I stumble on the greatest and smutties of finds ever: Perez Hilton.

I believe that this man's face in the Hellmouth. I am almost positve. In addition to dishing the latest in celebrity gossip, he also doctors the picture with tiny penis and semen dribbles. Brillant. Everyday I visit this site at least twice a day, which is pathetic but it's my addiction and I haven't hit rock bottom yet, damnit. It will be a bad rock bottom too. Real bad. Complete with misinformation on my relatives, my outting people and eventually grabbing a white sharpie and drawing penises on the people I love.

As a result of Perez Hilton I have compiled a list of celebrities that I hate and for posterity purposes I will put them here and my reasons for hating them:

-Rachel Evan Wood: for breaking up Marilyn Manson and Dita Von Teese. I hate him, but she is the shit.
-Sienna Miller: I am not sure what she did, but we (Perez and I) call her Sluttyienna
-Rumer Willis: Her face looks weird. Two pretty parents do not equal beautiful children.
-Rachel Zoe: She looks like a Zombie
-Dina Lohan: She has done nothing and plus Perez calls her White Oprah. HIiiiiiilarious.


thats it for now. But I am sure I will add more. This is far from over.

2 comments:

DJ Believe it or Not said...

Ha. i think he calls her orange oprah. Also, i hate britney spears because of perez hilton. but i love lindsey lohan.

cheers!

IS said...

Wow. I don't even know who half of these people are. And by "half" I mean "I can guess who two-fifths are but I only know what one-fifth has accomplished (nothing) and I don't know what any of these people look like."